Wednesday, February 13, 2013

I Am Not Dead Inside!

So far, I've been focusing mostly on things I've been doing that are good for my body, and doing things that are good for my mind and spirit have taken a back seat. Today I want to focus on something that recently transpired that has been really great for my spirit. But first...I need to provide some background history.

Three days after I moved to Arizona about 16 years ago, I met someone who ended up being my boyfriend for the next 3 years or so. Obviously it didn't work out because we're not together anymore, but I have fond memories of our time together. I also have not-so-fond memories of fighting like cats and dogs with him, but that's another story. We were together at an important time in my life. I had just left the comfort of my parents' house in NJ and embarked on my journey to become an adult. I moved 2500 miles away from everything I knew and loved to where I didn't know a soul and all I had with me were my ferrets, my bed, and a couple of frogs. I blindly rented a studio apartment to move into, and after a 8 day long cross country trip in a Budget rent-a-van with a perfect stranger, I ended up on my own in Mesa, Arizona. Luckily I met this person within a few days, and before long we were inseparable. We explored all of Arizona and parts of Mexico, traveled to New York, New Jersey, Utah, New Mexico, California and Florida, got a couple cats, built kitty furniture together, and shared our mutual love for all things weird and scientific. Being that we are both super goofy people, we'd make up songs and strange noises and funky dances and just laugh like idiots. Ahh, those were good times.

We definitely had our share of problems. My mom passed away during this time, which neither of us dealt with very well. He kind of had a dark side and some anger issues, which I got really tired of. He wanted a family and I generally fear children and commitment in general. We were young and thought the grass was greener on the other side so we went our separate ways. With the exception of a handful of conversations through MySpace a few years ago, I really haven't spoken to him or thought too much about him since.

A few weeks ago, I got a random Facebook message from him.We caught up a little and I found out that he still lives in Phoenix, has been married and divorced more times than Ross on Friends and he has an 8 year old daughter. We have been talking via phone and text messaging ever since and I've got to admit...I'm not hating it. It even has me wondering if I had actually met my soul mate 16 years ago and just didn't realize it until now.

Today we live two different lives, 500 miles apart from each other, so we'll never have the chance to find out what might have been. But it sure has been great reconnecting with him and reminiscing about the great memories we have together. The whole experience has made me feel a little less 'dead inside', and more hopeful about the future...what could possibly be better for my soul than that?

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